I have gotten a few different versions of this question.

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What about cultural misappropriation?

Isn't henna Indian?

Please discuss henna's relevance to you, personally.

Isn't henna sacred?

I thought henna was just for (Indian) weddings.

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In the end they all boil down to the same thing:

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​Which is a fair question.

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And like there are many different simple ways to ask a complex question, there are many simplified answers.

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Some artists will say it's always okay for a white person to do henna, because henna is a plant. It's one of many ways to do body art. It's a medium that is 8000+ years old. Dozens of cultures have done henna for thousands of years. Many cultures see it as a beauty practice, like getting an updo for the prom or a wedding -- associated with important occasions but not limited to them. There are many art styles, it's not just an Indian thing. India is only one part of the globe that uses henna and it is one of the more recent places henna has been adopted (apx. 900 years ago according to available records). Henna has a history in Europe. You can't tell someone's background from skin color alone. My [insert token ethnicity here] friend says it's okay.

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Some artists will say it's never okay for anyone to give or receive henna unless they were born into a culture that is currently practicing henna and has been practicing henna for centuries or millennia. Henna can have significant meaning culturally and personally, and white people should not be profiting off of it, especially given the extensive and monstrous history of colonization, violence, and erasure white people have visited and continue to ruthlessly visit upon other cultures. White people doing henna is disrespectful. It's misappropriation. It's theft. It's an aggressive, transgressive, unforgivable act. Shameful.

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I don't think either side is wrong. And from what I've experienced so far, the overwhelming majority of people -- both artists and non-artists, from henna-using cultures and from European-descended cultures -- also fall somewhere in the middle of the always yes to always no spectrum, leaning toward the it's probably okay IF ____ side.

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I think anyone who can give you a simple​, binary, boolean, black-and-white, uncompromising "yes, it's always okay" probably is coming from a place of fear. What if my livelihood, my ability to stay sheltered and fed, my one outlet, the skill I've spent years practicing, the only time I am able to get out of the house-- what if it were taken away? Worse, what if it's taken away and all this time I've been doing harm to others despite good intentions? What if I'm wrong?

What if I have to give up something I love, something that gives me value?

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I won't presume to know what people who say "no, it's never okay" are feeling or to speak for them, though I'd be surprised if well-justified fury didn't have a seat at that table. And it would be wrong to say those furious feelings don't matter as much as the feelings of people who say things I want to hear simply because there are fewer voices saying those things where I can hear them. That would be a lot like running to dad to ask for a cookie after mom says no.

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So I turn it around in my head a lot. I ask myself frequently to sit with some tough questions, such as:

• Is skin color alone an indicator of who can and cannot do henna?

• Does religion matter? Would a convert to a faith associated with henna-using cultures, such as Islam, Judaism, or Hinduism, be permissible as a henna artist despite a European heritage?

• Does cultural exposure matter? Does someone who has a heritage of henna art have sole right to it, regardless of personal experience? Does someone who has no heritage but who has lived within a henna-using culture as a foreigner have any justification for learning it?

• How long ago is long enough ago to count as a henna-using culture? Half a century? Five centuries? Does length of time using henna indicate a better right to it, giving eastern Africa a several thousand year seniority over southern Asia?

  • Does it matter how henna got somewhere -- whether it got there by mutual trade or was bought along with / adopted by invaders? If it does, how much consideration should be given to the passage of time?

• What role does mixing heritages play?

  • How far removed would someone have to be before they're not "enough" to not be allowed to do henna anymore?

  • What about spouses in mixed marriages?

    • In the case where they have children, what level of responsibility does the white parent have to immerse a child in the other parent's culture? Can that parent participate, and if so, under what circumstances?

    • Does a white spouse with no children have fewer permissions than a spouse who does have children, and if so by how much?

• How am I, personally, using henna? What does my own use of henna mean for people in henna-using cultures?

  • Is it a net good or a net harm?

  • How does the money I spend to buy materials and courses from primary sources compare to the money I earn from henna, and does it matter that any money I make goes back into an Indian household? (Does it matter if it's an NRI household?)

  • What about appropriate credit? Could I be misperceived as "owning" henna rather than doing henna? Am I doing anything that reflects badly on henna-using cultures? Am I doing anything that exoticizes, deprecates, or devalues other cultures, or am I giving the impression that henna is cool when white people do it (but not when other people do)?

  • Am I obscuring the history, artistry, or intention of henna?

  • Am I treating it like a costume?

  • Am I using orientalism to draw in customers?

• Am I using henna in a way it's not intended to be used?

• If I do the same designs in jagua or gardenia fruit, are they still henna?

  • If I draw a cartoon character using henna paste, is that still henna?

  • Is henna drawing any temporary design on skin with any medium -- is henna the concept of temporary body art itself? Is he

    • Where do henna for hair and henna for nails fall?

• Is henna the plant, the art, or both? Neither?

• How is the global perception of henna going to change in the future -- will white people normalizing henna within their own cultures likely be a net good or a net harm in the long term?

  • Right or wrong, what's the likeliest outcome, and is that a factor?

  • If globalization is the likeliest outcome, is it better to try to model doing it as respectfully as I know how for other white people, or is that me trying to make myself into the protagonist of someone else's story?

    • How can I best hand the microphone to people whose voices matter more than mine?

    • Is there any helpful role for me besides leaving the room altogether?

• When another white person tells me they're offended at me doing a "foreign" art, could it be that they're looking to be seen defending a vulnerable group? Or are they trying to say that white people should only ever do white people things, in the sense that a white person shouldn't dilute or degrade their own culture with "foreign" things?

  • i.e., Is it more likely to be virtue signaling, or racism?

  • What's a helpful response to a confrontation while I'm working? To ignore it? Brush it off? Argue? Agree? Try to have a lengthy, nuanced conversation about the complexities of a huge, flawed, constantly evolving world? Write a novella about it on a website no one will probably ever read?

• How do I navigate the myriad cultures and perceptions of henna, which span from the sacred to the banal -- is it always sacred because a few cultures see it that way (all or nothing), or is it primarily a secular practice because the bulk say it is (majority rules)?

  • Is this a democratic thing or does it need to be unanimous? Does one no cancel out a hundred yesses?

  • Is it more like kohl or more like a bindi?

  • Will it change over time? Does that matter?

• Is it the past, the present, or the future that should be given priority?

• How am I giving back?

• Am I listening more than I speak? (Am I speaking when I should be altogether silent?)

• What am I not hearing? How can I better hear the voices that aren't reaching me? What barriers are in the way of that?

• What questions am I not asking?

• Where are the tender spots-- what answers evoke an emotional or knee-jerk response from me, and why could that be? Where is my fear and why is it there?

• Should I be thinking about this independently at all, or should I stay in my own lane? Is being unsure a betrayal? Is looking for complexity selfishly motivated?

• Which side am I really on here, in my heart of hearts? Does it have to be one and only one answer forever?

• What answer am I hoping for, and why?

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(I can spend entire days on this stuff. Never underestimate the thought spiral skills of a person with severe anxiety.)

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And, you know, most of the time I don't come out any more enlightened than I started. I tend to end up feeling that I can tentatively trust the consensus until I come across something that convinces me it's a net harm rather than neutral or good.

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The majority opinion seems to be that white people doing henna can be provisionally allowed, but we need to pay close attention to the caveats and remember where the boundaries are. We need to be mindful. We need to listen more than we speak. We need to learn the history and understand the art styles -- what is and isn't okay to put in a design, how henna should or shouldn't be handled. We need to know where it comes from and we cannot obscure that or take credit for it. We need to give back more than we take, do no harm, and we need to only touch what we have consensus permission to borrow.

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And we need to be ready to be wrong.